I have blogged about my initial “it’s Just Lunch” experience, and hope it provided some humor for everyone!  Since I only had three dates, and you have heard of the first two, I figured – why not come full circle and close this particularly horrible dating chapter for good!

After complaining to the company about their inability to give me a suitable match on the first two attempts – I was concerned about their ability to find a quality man on their third try.  I was surprised when I showed up to meet this gentleman – he was everything they said he would be.  Tall, salt and pepper hair, fit and handsome.  What they failed to mention – yet was a terribly sexy surprise – was that he had an accent.  Hans was from Denmark.  He had lived in the states for years, and was college educated at University of Southern California.  Yet, the accent had stuck – and thank God it did, because to hear him speak was like a little slice heaven!!

Our relationship started slow, and stayed that course for quite some time.  I was OK with that for a couple of reasons 1) He was the President of a major trucking company, and was gone most week days – so we talked more than we saw each other, and 2) I have never been one to move too quickly, so was OK with the course on which the relationship was going.  When together, we spent a lot of time golfing, cooking dinner at home, going to movies, wine tastings, etc.   He was charming, a little nerdy, and very sweet and romantic.  I loved spending time with him, and was usually sad when our dates ended.

Hans never gave me reason to not trust him, even though he was gone much of the time.  I had met friends and neighbors, and on occasions spoke with his brother on the phone (he lived in Chicago).  We spent the fourth of July at the Biltmore Hotel and Estate in Ashville, NC and had an amazing time.  Things really seemed to be going well – and I had some hope that this could actually progress into something more serious.

A few weeks later, my father’s health was declining rapidly, and we knew the end was near (I know – I said these would be light hearted and funny – I promise, it will get there).  He was over for dinner, and although we both made a promise to put our phones aside when we were together (those who know me well, know – that is some serious shit for me to do) I explained that dad wasn’t doing well, and I was keeping my phone close for obvious reasons.  The night was great as usual, and the phone never rang.  He was leaving the next day for a camping trip with the boys, and let me know that he would not really be looking at his phone very often.  NOW – I know that wasn’t possible 100% because with his business, he couldn’t be away from it for days at a time.  However – I promised I would respect his “dude time” and would talk to him when he got back unless there was an “emergency”.

The next day – the call I dreaded my whole life came through.  My mom said “Evie, it is time” and I knew I only had hours to get home before my father passed.  He died a few short hours after I got to Charleston, but I was able to say goodbye, look in his deep blue eyes and tell him I loved him and wish him one final Happy Birthday here on earth.  Needless to say – It was an emotional day – and although I didn’t want to interrupt “dude time” – I did shoot him a text.  You see, his father had passed five years before, and he didn’t make it home in time to say goodbye – which haunts him to this day.  I didn’t say exactly what had happened – but I said it was important, and would love to hear from him when he had a minute.  Crickets through the night.  The next day – I text again – and AGAIN – no response.  The week passed, and quite frankly – my family time had become more important than hearing from him.  We buried dad on Thursday, and on Friday – I was met with a phone call saying something like “hey babe, what is up?  Saw you text – but you knew I was away with the boys.  Anything exciting happen while I was gone?”  CHRIST – are you kidding me??  What part of “it is important” didn’t he get?  I was so upset!  His attitude was quite cavalier, and I questioned whether I wanted someone in my life who wasn’t available during, or sympathetic to, what had just gone through – yet I stayed.  In the words of Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman…Big mistake, Big…..HUGE!

So now we get to the funny part.  A few months later, he invites me to his friends’ house  (a friend I had yet to meet) for a pool party.  It was a beautiful day in Charlotte; we sat around the pool, drank wine, enjoyed a leisurely Sunday and took in the moment.  There were about 10 of us there, and one by one, people started to leave.  Steen (his Danish friend) asked us to stay for dinner, so we did.  He cooked, and Hans and I sat in the kitchen and talked with him during the preparation.  Dinner was lovely, and after a long day in the sun, it was getting late, and time to go home.  Because it was so late, and he had to fly out the next morning, Hans went to his house and I went to mine.  We kissed goodnight, and parted ways.  About 30 minutes later, I get a text.  I assumed it was Hans saying goodnight before bed.  NOT SO MUCH!  It was a text from a number I didn’t recognize.  The text read – “thanks for hanging out today.  I would like to know you better.  Hope we can make that happen.  Steen”  Um, WTF???  I text Hans and he said that Steen had asked for my number, and he gave it to him.  When I told him what he said, he just brushed it off – so for some crazy reason, I did as well. 

The next weekend – Hans went out with the boys, and I stayed in.  I got a text from Steen saying “Come out”.  When I said I was perfectly comfortable on my couch, watching Dateline NBC in my PJ’s – he responded with “apparently you aren’t as much fun as Hans says you were”.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  What the hell is going one here??  The next day – I called Hans to let him know that his friend was acting inappropriately.  To my complete and utter dismay – he was not upset.  Quite the opposite!!  He actually told me, that he thinks that Steen and I would be good together and I was more that willing to go out with him if I wanted to.  Now, I am not from Denmark.  Nor, do I know the dating culture there.  However – whether he wanted to have an open relationship, or simply pass me off to the next Dane in the group – I will never know.  Suffice it to say – that relationship died on the vine that evening!

I spent the next several weeks researching the culture to see what I was missing, and if anything for me was “Lost in Translation”, but came up short on answers.  Guess I will just chalk this experience up to anther crazy story in my dating life, and a life lesson.  Although I would never rule out ever dating a man from another country, as I still find that completely sexy…….. right now, I am perfectly happy with someone who bears the stamp “Made in America” 🙂

Cynically, Optimistic………