So – I really thought my first post would be something from several years ago.  I had played out how I would tell the story many times in my mind – because it is unbelievable. Yet, after the events of the past week – I figured I should just go with something more current for now.  I think I have pretty thick skin, and a sly sense of humor when it comes to my romantic failures – but the last several days presented content that was a whole lot for anyone to digest.

The week started off with running across of photo on Facebook of a man I dated several months ago.  We stayed friends both in real life, and in our “cyber” lives, because quite frankly, our parting was very cordial, and mutual.  The break-up happened because he finally admitted to me that he wasn’t ready to date, and needed to focus his time on his new home, his career, and his children.  He said he was being “selfish”, and I respected that decision.  Little was I to know that was simply code for “Instead of dating you – I want to date someone else” – ugh :-(.

Now comes the weekend.  I was so excited, because I had tickets to both the WVU game, and the Ravens game.  I was going to enjoy tailgating and game watching with a very dear friend for both, and I was going to see people from college that I hadn’t seen in years.  Football, friends and reunions!  How could this fun filled weekend hit a snag you might ask?  Well……………

…..for starters, I was hit on by two different men (ah hem, boys) who were in their late 20’s. They clearly know my age because we have mutual friends.  Trust me – they are both handsome, successful, very nice men.  20 years ago – I would have been doing the happy dance.  Yet as I find myself closer to receiving my AARP card, than I am being a sorority girl, I had to pass……..I know, shocking!  Being a cougar is just NOT how this girl rolls.

Then – I had the pleasure of meeting not one, but TWO ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s.  Regardless of the length of the relationship, or the distance of time since the break-up happened, it is never on the list of the “TOP 10” things I want to do.  Regardless – it happened, and my internal organs are still a little tender from the kick in the gut I took seeing that someone I cared for is happier with someone else.  YES – it happens to many, but to see it right in front of my face made in real.  However – it also allowed me reflect on the fact that those relationships didn’t work for a reason.  Not their fault, not mine – just life and timing.  Thus – I am now given a fresh slate to wake up every morning with the hope that something wonderful is just around the corner 🙂

The experiences of the past week have not only taught me that I am stronger than I give myself credit for, it also reminded me that I have some very dear and amazing friends that have been on this crazy ride with me, and will never let me forget all the good that life has to offer.

As Kelly Clarkson (oh yeah, and Friedrich Nietzsche) said: “What Doesn’t Kill You, Makes You Stronger”.  That being the case – I should be strong enough to lift a house off of a striped sock witch!!

Cynically Optimistic……..

Welcome to my frogblog!

I have always kept a journal, or written pros, as a way to express my feelings.  I have found it at times to be therapeutic and cathartic.  Additionally – those who I am closest to, know that I have always been on open book when it comes to my life’s adventures – good or bad.  Many have said I should write a book, because quite frankly – the stories I share, in most cases, are truly unbelievable!

I sit here a month shy of my 45^th birthday, and I am so thankful for the opportunities that I have been blessed with in my life. I have relocated twice, and have been embraced by amazing, lifelong friends along the way (not to mention the one’s I left West Virginia with).  I have a thriving career that continues to get better year after year. I have been able to live out a dream of performing on stage, in roles that many only dream of playing.  I have a loving (albeit crazy at times) family that loves and supports me.  I am healthy, happy and enjoy the little thing in my life that many take for granted in their own.

However – I would be lying if I said that my life is 100% complete (insert Jerry McGuire flashback).  I never thought I would be here, at this age, still single and not a mother.  Those that know me well – know that being a mother was what I was put on this earth to do.  However – as the years have passed – I have had to accept the sad reality that being a mother (at least in the biological sense) is probably something that is not in the cards for me.  I have also accepted the fact that although I have had a few loving, long-term relationships, they never materialized into anything more. Thus, I am where I am today!

LUCKY YOU, as the readers of my blog!!  This is a candid, open, honest and quite frankly – comical forum for me to share my experiences.  I am not lying when I say, “you can’t make this shit up”.  I have been on Match, E-harmony and OK Cupid.  I have tried “It’s Just Lunch”, and I even met with a Yenta when I lived in Charlotte (yes – I know that is an oxymoron – Yenta….Charlotte…..the south……whatever!!).  I have stories that have brought me to tears, yet have made me laugh uncontrollably at the fact they even happened – and even better – they happened to me 🙂

Nothing that I write is meant to be sad, depressing or negative.  It is all meant to be an anecdotal fun and whimsical journal through my crazy-ass dating adventures.   The content will be real, raw, biting and honest.  Selfishly, this is my personal forum of expression.  However – my hope is that if any of you can learn from my experiences, laugh at my expense, or simply marvel at the stories of a 45 year old career professional just trying to find her prince charming in this effed up world – then I have accomplished what I set out to do.

I don’t know how often I will post, as this is all new to me.  However – it is my forum for expression, and I hope you enjoy!

Now – I need to sit down and think about what crazy story to share in my first “official” post.  There is so much content in my brain – I need to just let it come out through my keyboard, and into the eyes of the reader.

I hope you have an appetite for the crazy adventures I am about to share!  Until my next post!

Cynically, optimistic………..